After the incident 2 days ago, I’ve decided to move out of my current place. The woman kicked out her boyfriend. It would be a bad idea to stay, because the boyfriend might come back and make trouble again. Furthermore, her sister is moving in, so its best for all if I move out as well.

Kinda think of it, I was a bit too calm when the guy was accusing me of sleeping with her. I could only think of how ridiculous his accusations were. I think if it was someone else, it would’ve turned into an argument. I think he wanted to pick a fight but that’s somewhat impossible with me (if you knew me, you’d understand).

Anyways, I’m glad for her that has the courage to stand up to her useless, abusive drunkard of a boyfriend. She owns most of the stuff in the house anyways, so I think she has the right to kick him out. The cops gave him a stern warning, and put him on the watchlist (which isn’t really a criminal record). Still, he’s been awfully quiet since so I hope he’s learnt his lesson.

So that leaves me without a home for a while. A few of my friends have offered their place as refuge, and I’m very grateful for that. Although, its frustrating because I have to move my stuff all over again. (I’m still surprised by how much stuff I’ve accumulated).

Thinking back, I’ve only been in this house for a month. It’s much cleaner and nicer than my previous house, but there’s just something wrong with the vibe of the place, and I never quite settled in. Good thing that I’m moving, I suppose …

Well, time to pack my bags again!

I live in a fucked up house. The couple I’m sharing an apartment with have been arguing the past few days. The first time it happened, the girl told me that she’s had too much to drink and she was just crying for no reason. That lit up my bullshit meter a bit, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.

Today as I was in my room she came knocking on my door to ask to call the cops. The boyfriend is accusing her of sleeping with me. Shit ! No wonder he’s been giving me shit looks all this while. He’s very friendly usually, but damn you should see his face whenever she’s around.

The guy then told me that she’s slept around before. The girl then said the same of him. Who the hell do I believe? One moment she says she wants to move out, the next she keeps her bags. She just threw a glass bottle outside, and left the house. He’s drunk and passed out on the couch.

Note to self, never share accommodation with a couple again.

update 3:00am: She came back, they fought again and I shouted at both of them “If this happens again, I’m moving out”. They talked a bit, and she left again.

update 5:00am: She came back with the cops and they’re taking statements now. Oh, the cops just took him away. I’m still not getting any sleep.

I was born 25 years ago on this day. Seems like a big number doesn’t it ? No longer a young adult, I’m on the other side of the 20s now. I don’t really feel any different on this particular day, but the past year has been a year of growth for me.

One year ago, I was alone in my room with no phone, internet or any friends. That was a horrible birthday, but I lived through it. This year I have a cold and I had to cancel a dinner but at least Sherlene kept me company. (She was the one who passed the flu to me in the first place!)

So let’s see, what’s happened over the past year ?

• Studied for a masters degree
• Broke up with my longtime girlfriend
• Found a job
• Started paying for my own rent and food
• Got a new guitar
• Got into a long distance relationship (and broke up)
• Decided to stay on in Australia to get a PR
• Failed one subject for that purpose
• Met Sherlene

I guess what I really learnt from all this is that I’m no longer scared of growing up. I always had apprehensions about being an adult because I was scared of being boring and working for the ‘machine’ of society. It’s either the movies I’ve watched, or the books I’ve read, which always potrayed adulthood as mundane and meaningless. All that gen-x bullshit is really producing a lazy generation! I can’t believe I procrastinated all these years and finally woke up.

I’m glad to say that I’ve never been happier in my life.

Well, I’m heading to the park to read a book or something, just a quiet day out since I’m not feeling too well. Hopefully some sunshine will do the trick.

Also, I’m heading back to Malaysia for 2 weeks (15 July to 1 August).

I believe the difference between man and animal is the ability to reason. Our ability to think beyond our senses and to rationalize has brought us humans this far in history. It is this aspect of the human condition that I believe is the greatest strength of our species.

As children, we experience our surroundings for the first time with wonder. Do you remember that ? When everything was new and the simplest thing can make you happy ? Unfortunately as we grow up, we lose this sense of wonder and everything becomes mundane. Why is that so ?

My theory is that we start compartmentalizing everything we know into distinct ‘categories’, oversimplifying and stereotyping. When we experience something new, we think we’ve experienced it before and thus come up with our theories about it. What it should be and what it shouldn’t. Some may call it cynicism, but I’ll call it narrow-mindedness.

When things happen the way we expect, it ‘cements’ our idea about that experience. If it doesn’t, we get dissapointed and reject it because we don’t understand it. Or worse still, we make up myths about what the new experience is about. Examples ? Pretending that thunder comes from Thor’s hammer. Fire comes from the gods. Or that the world was made in 7 days.

Truth is, we have to admit that we don’t know so much about our world, and that we need to find out more about it. Socrates once said, “a wise man is he who knows that he knows nothing”. Profound words, my friends.

Let’s face the truth people, we are not as open minded as we think. Put aside all your prejudices and preconceived notions and your world will be a happier place. The only thing constant about the world, is that it’s always changing, and that all our old fears are probably misplaced.

So inquire! explore! make mistakes! ask questions!

Look at the world around you with new eyes. Take the time, and you will find that everything you thought you knew, you just took for granted!

About a year ago I came to this city. I was feeling a little lonely because I haven’t made any friends yet and I remember sitting alone in that room. No phone, no internet and no friends. Back then I only had a few photographs and memories of someone to keep me warm.

Now that I think of it, those memories are static. Everything is just as it were, the street we grew up in and the evening before I left for the airport. In fact, I was so certain that she was my soulmate. You know the guy that puts the girl at the center of everything ? I used to be that guy. Not until I freaked myself out and bailed on her.

I always wanted to work abroad and I wished she could have come with me. Unfortunately, that was never a choice for her. We were still together for 2 years even though we were seeing other people. But that changed when I left the country. Eventually she moved on, and I realised it too.

Today, I was doing the dishes and cleaning up after a long day at work. I felt a little of last year’s loneliness, except this time it’s not as bad. Things have changed so much for me , and sometimes I feel like I’ve grown colder. My youthful idealism and childish fears have given way to a safe middle ground. Perhaps the most important thing is, that I’m not scared of growing up anymore.

Except for the fact that she might be getting engaged. I don’t really believe it’s happening or that she’s serious about it. You know what I said when she told me? I told her I’d ride into the church with a white horse and kick open the doors. Okay, maybe I’m in denial, but how am I supposed to accept that?

I still don’t know how to feel about it.

According to Facebook, I’m single again. I’ve always been fascinated at how dramatic the relationship status displays:

“Jason Phoon has ended his relationship”
“Jason Phoon is now listed as single”

These items are accompanied with a broken heart symbol, mind you.

Some of you may know, I was in a long distance relationship for about 4 months now. It was sweet while it lasted, but eventually we both decided we needed to be near each other if we were to continue. I guess that didn’t work out when I decided to stay here in Australia and work on getting a PR.

Well, I guess we both found out that we’re not cut out for a long distance relationship, especially one which might not have a future. At least the breakup went as smooth as possible, not like we were fighting or anything. Seriously I can’t handle that, cause I’m still studying for an exam tomorrow.

Well, back to “girls are evil” comics again.

If your whole life revolves around your significant other, you have to rethink your priorities. If a guy/girl comes into your life and turns it around, what does that say about your life ? Does this mean it was empty and meaningless before she came into your life ? If your answer is yes, there might be something wrong with you.

I had a friend who asked his girlfriend to run away from home. He said he’ll take care of her and pay for her college tuition fees. All this when he was only 21 years old. Man, he couldn’t even keep a steady job for a month ! Fortunately the girl wasn’t stupid enough to believe him and she broke up with him a month later.

Or another one, where he used to say “I will love you forever”, and go broke buying stuff for his girlfriend. All with his parents money!

Or the one who said “My life is meaningless” after his girlfriend left him. Then he found another one and he said the same thing. Get a fucking clue!

Anyways my point is, if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of somebody else?

A girl ain’t gonna fix your problems and she sure ain’t gonna rely on you for security if you’re not independent (emotionally or financially). Somewhere along the line, a whole generation of guys have lost their balls and turned into so called “sensitive new age guys”. I have the right to call them that, because I used to be one.

It’s true, I used to be a needy, jealous, self-sympathizing, emotional black-hole of a person. Some of my ex-girlfriends can attest to that, and boy did I give them shit. I’m so sorry about that, and you girls would be so proud that I grew out of that teenage angst. I’m definitely in a happier place right now.

In fact, I’m more selfish these days. Apparently, girls like a little backbone in their men!

What I learned over the years is that, you have to fix your own problems first, think about your future, and focus on what makes you happy. The center of your life is you, not your religion, not your job, not your computer games, not your possessions and certainly not your significant other. Hard to accept, but it’s true. None of these things will fix you if you don’t’ want to fix yourself.

Which brings me to lesson number 2 of the manifesto:

2) the center of the universe is you

Everything else will flow from there.