hope dangles on a string
This blog was actually started soon after a relationship of mine ended. That was about 2 years ago. We were dating in our college years and it was the happiest time of my life. We were perfect together and people always assumed that we were going to end up marrying each other.
So why did the relationship end ?
She graduated earlier than me therefore she started working first. I guess I was really immatured back then because I kept complaining that she never had time for me. I was really selfish because I had all the time in the world, and all I ever wanted was to spend it with her. She tried to accommodate, but it was never enough for me.
Later on, I realized that I felt suffocated in this bubble I created for me and her. Of course, everything changed when work came into the picture. We met so many different people and we couldn’t remain anti-social forever. I also realized that I was very dependent on her (for example, remembering where I parked my car).
Everything went downhill from there and we were fighting very often. At one point I suggested we take a break to clear our minds. She was so angry that she wanted to break up for real. Then something happened to which I still regret till today. I will not say what it is, but she never forgave me for it.
It takes years to build trust but just minutes to crush it.
The next 2 years were particularly difficult for me. I had to relearn many things. How to do things on my own, how to make friends again and how to be a better person. Deep down inside, I was doing all this so that i could be better for her.
My relationship actually improved with her, because we managed to sort out conflicts. In the past, we would keep problems to ourselves. Perhaps all those unresolved issues contributed to the fights we had ?
It was at this time we started seeing other people as well. We are still in love with each other, but we figured out that it wasn’t the right time to commit to a long-term relationship at our age. Besides, I am studying here in Brisbane and we never believed in long distance relationships anyway.
So here is where things gets complicating.
I’m actually seeing someone at the moment. No worries, she actually knows about my soulmateand all that emotional baggage. As for my soulmate ? She’s also seeing someone else as well. Therefore we have something like a non-exclusive relationship. It is very messy and yes, the worst that could happen is that she feels for someone else more than how she feels for me.
In fact, the worst has happened and she is now divided between me and this other guy. As for me ?
I wish I could go back to hold her. To remind her that I’m the one for her. That we will grow old together, like how it always happens in my dreams.
*touched* You’re still young and there’s still lotsa things to do and people to meet. Only time will tell. If you were meant for each other… it will happen. If not, it was fun while it lasted.
On the flip side, don’t expect everything to fall into your lap because it’s ‘meant to be’: that’s idealistic clap trap. You know as well as I do everything takes effort. Pursue what is important; discard what is not.
haaay, love… love… love…
leyon: i agree with you on that.
wow, it is indeed, a complicated thingy you’re having there. *hugs* that is, if it helps.
seriously, I dun quite know wat 2 say after reading this. U know i could accept such an open or complicated relationship but wat could i comment on, when neither of us know how’s the ending of both of u going 2 b? Juz wish u guys r happy wif the ending u both will choose later.
So very TRUE! Aye, im afraid thats the harsh, cold sorrowfull reality
that’s LIFE…..
Wow, a pretty simliar experience, can’t resist but to leave a comment. All the best and I just hope your ending is different from mine
Sometimes follow your heart and go for it, instead of pondering at the same spot. Good luck!
Maybe sometimes it’s better to put the past where it belongs? That is the past. Since u are in a new r/ship, why not move on with life and close the previous door?
aww iyasusan. *huGGles* classic one-liner ‘advice’ - if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. move on.
always knew you were a softy at heart and this entry is the clincher. as the romans said it best “fata viam inveniunt” - the fates will have its way *wink*
awww chou chou ..so touching. You never know what the future will be like, just live as it is.
“I wish I could go back to hold her. To remind her that I’m the one for her. That we will grow old together, like how it always happens in my dreams.”
Dear God, I hope your Brisbane girl ain’t reading this.
Amen and all that.
well, I dunt think you are that young anymore, this kinda drama story only happens when ppl are still young.. yup, carefree and what do kids know abt love and commitments? if you claimed that you still love your ex-gfren, great for you.. why want to complicate stuff by dating another girl? Shouldnt you be concentrating on your Masters? Earlier today, my boss told me that dunt take up Masters just because you want to run away from working life for a while, take up Master because you really want to learn.
If you still love your ex, and I believe your ex know for a fact that you still love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her since you have been blogging abt her since Day 1.
If you want to show commitment to your ex, goddammit then just concentrate on your studies and enjoy your student life in brisbane… and not by publicly admit that you dating who and who… When you get your ass back here in Msia, tell your ex that all this while when you are in brisbane, you have no one else in your life but her.
Sorry, some ppl might wanna comment that I am mean or I am bitchy but I just cant stand ppl at your age who are still caught up with high school drama love story. Its time to grow up.
Cheer up dude! Look at the bright side! At least you dreamt about it!
……
Ok, I’m not helping at all.
Chill bro, thats life. Harsh but we gotto live thru it.
Cheers
[cazzy]
Yes, but if I don’t be with her, I’d always wonder. Then I’d have a mid life crisis.
[leyon]
I agree, it requires work. So back to the drawing board ..
[tickle me]
thanks ..
[amy]
I hope it’s a good ending too.
[Princess Eileen]
Sounds like a bad ending
Hope you find happiness anyway ..
[pk]
The previous door is not ready to be closed yet. And I don’t quite see it as the past ..
[claudine]
*hugs*
Lazy one-liner advice
[nabilla]
awww, since when I was not a softy ?
I don’t quite believe in fate by the way …
[michy]
I think i’ve always done that. I need to make decisions now, and not leave it to life as always.
[kurt]
Yes, she knows about it. She even encourages me sometimes.
[Natalie]
That line about doing Masters to avoid working life for a while is so true. I actually did my Masters because I want to work here. Things are quite uncertain at the moment.
I commend your straightforwardness. Me and my ex are quite different in the fact that we date other people. It was working until, well, she liked someone else. I don’t have a conclusion on that yet …
[infectioner]
-_-”
Maybe dreams are an alternate reality …
[voch]
yep, gotta live it !
hummmmmmmmmm
Since your life is so uncertain, i think u should play it out until u really know what u want before making a decision or declaring someone is THE ONE.
btw, i know what is that thing u did that u regretted until now ! n i don’t think she will forgive u because she is disappointed by it and she doesn’t know how she can trust u
but i miss having spaghetti with u on Saturday mornings
It’s okay to make mistakes and not know what you’re doing in a relationship. Mistakes in a relationship help you to make better decisions as you age.
to stephanie:
i disagree. if she really loves him, she will forgive him. it won’t be as easy to forget. but to move on, she’d have to forgive him. and disappointment is an everyday occurence. it’s not how we relive the disappointment, but how we can overcome and make it better so as not to disappoint anymore.
and what sort of relationship would it be if there are no disappointments? only when disappointments arise can the relationship grow and mature. if not, it’ll just be stagnant.
just my two cents worth.
to jason:
just let her know you still love her and want to be with her? i mean…easier said than done, i know, but it’s worth a try?
oh…and jason, for your Brisbane girl to know of this and to encourage you about it, she must be really something. i don’t think i know anyone like that who’d be so open and caring..
Jason, if she’s the one.. what are you waiting for? Good luck mate, i really hope things work out for you
if you two have fate , you will end up with each other no matter what . if no , move on . the world is so big . (=
if all things fails, dress up as Lee Hom and go to tazzie, you will find some one there
wukakakkaa
Anyway, I feel you, things aren’t always rainbows and cinnamon, sometimes you get to smell the shit too. Hang in there.
[stephanie]
I agree, only time will tell if they end up together. That is why no decisions should be made at this moment in time …
[thelastnoel]
mistakes , can be lessons right ?
[noni]
haha, I’m starting to wonder if you’re friends with brisbane girl
[.mei]
I’m not waiting, I’m working on growing up. Being more matured …
[miss c]
I don’t quite believe in fate actually …
[x]
haha, I know who you’re talking about … lol. You mean , you feel for me right ? Not feel me rite …
…. u remind me of my immature ex…. because of his childishness we broke off our relationship of 5 years…
Guys, do you really have to do this to us girls, just because of your immature thinking, you just gotta go screw everything up.
I’m sure you’ve realized that now and you’ll be a better understanding lover, and for a guy 24 is still young, go finish your studies and have a career, by then when you’re financially stable and have a home of your own, you can go searching for a woman you love to be by your side.
But of course I can understand a guy’s need hahahaha esp when they’re young.. so… just go have flings at the moment WAKAKAK… but always remember not to hurt an innocent girl’s heart
aww….dont wry jason! if your meant to be , time will tell
me facing same thing also except no dating etc yet. currently both focusing on studies..buts its hard! i cant ever imagine. but keep strong! tee hee! :p
jason you make me want to cry….:(
complicated relationships eh? well mine isnt very simple as well.. and hell the story is so freaking long i had to write another blog just based on that relationship of ours. sorry cant reveal just yet as this blog is a private one.
word of advise, do hang in there and seek what your heart really wants. i understand how u feel when ur heart is torn between 2 commitments. been and and still in there…sigh
sober men…
what your heart tells you? Go for the one you believe more, old one doesnt mean the better one, new one doesnt mean the least better one. You have come this far so …. decide and dont regret, I support you chou chou
[evie]
I’ll take your advice , and hopefully i can be more mature.
your last paragraph however, contradicts the 3 previous ones ! haha
[jacq]
hehehe , i know who it is
[ee]
now go find your soulmate ! maybe in bangkok , who knows …
[calv]
oooo , an anonymous blog perhaps ?
[michy]
I think I’ve decided in my mind, although it might be too early to tell. I don’t think time would help me decide ..