This is what I do at work everyday:

Basically I’m a code monkey

So anyways, my boss called me in yesterday. I thought I was in trouble for slacking off or whatever, but it was actually just to sign some HR papers. Then he asked me:

“Jason, just curious. What do you do on the weekends?”

I was a little dumbfounded by this question. I just realized that that the past year working here, me and the boss have never had a non-work related conversation. I deliberated for a while, thinking of the best answer that I could give to a boss to impress him. I couldn’t come up with anything so fuck it I said videogames.

Then we talked about call of duty, medal of honor, battlefield 1942 and I found out my boss was a gamer at heart. You see, my boss is 6 feet+, muscled and has a booming voice. He kinda looks like a general or something. Maybe thats why he loves World War II games.

So today, I was having a coffee with my colleague in the pantry and the boss called me in again.

Got a pay raise.

Probably unrelated to the talk about videogames.

*edit, this was one of those comics I thought was from some comment, but it was actually another comic. Here’s the original:

http://zs1.smbc-comics.com/comics/20100819.gif

Stupid memory.

Here’s one from reddit:

Do you see it now?

“Thanks for fulfilling my sexual needs”

-Er, I’ll take that as a compliment?

“Dear, don’t be offended but I masturbated to a photo of you”

-I’ll also take that as a compliment. But really, she should get better fapping material.

“Don’t you love me?”

-I have to explain this a bit. This was before sex, and she asked me this difficult question. I replied by falling off the bed. We never did it.

“Don’t leave money by my bedside, do you think I’m a prostitute?”

-Everyone puts their money beside the bed right?

“I’m too old to play around anymore, please don’t waste my time”.

-I heard this TWICE last year.

“It looks like my vagina just rejected your dick”

-Why can’t I have a normal life?

Friendship framework

I also learned that the 3 do not have to be mutually exclusive.

Take for instance, a friend who does not have the same viewpoints in life but you get along with him. You can debate on everything and still learn something new from each other.

Or you have share the same hobbies but you don’t really get along or look at things differently. So they’re ‘activity friends’.

A friend that meets the trifecta?

Now, that’s a great friend.

Introduction Song
Animation they can re-use for 10 to 20 episodes

Previous episode recap
Animation from the previous episode they can re-use

ACTUAL NEW CONTENT
Animation you’ve seen in the preview from the previous episode

Flashbacks
Animation from previous episodes they can re-use

Ending Song
Animation they can re-use for 10 to 20 episodes

Preview of next episode
Animation from the next episode that they have already drawn

This draft was saved on my blog a few months back, and I actually listed down a few things I wanted in a woman. Here they are:

• long hair
• caring
• feminine
• elder sibling
• can cook

Unfortunately, my girlfriend only fulfills the long hair part. Well, maybe she is caring.

In fact, when I was flirting with her I even joked about her not meeting my criteria. I probably said that just to lower her ego a few notches (useful tip for guys).

Moral of the story is, don’t make a list. Life might surprise you with someone better

A koala.

Not many people outside Australia know about a similar animal called drop bears. An easy way to spot a dropbear is by its fangs. Unfortunately, by the time you spot its fangs, it might be too late:

A dropbear. Note the fangs.

Dropbears are extremely territorial, and will defend their homes from trespassers. They are also incredibly agile, being able to leap from branch to branch, and even latch onto other animals (or even a person) with its strong claws.

A dropbear attacks from above.

Koalas usually eat eucalyptus leaves, which have a sedative effect. Koalas are also known for their laidback demeanour, probably from eating these leaves. Dropbears however, are carnivorous and would actually hunt other animals for sustenance. Dropbears have been sighted to have even attacked larger animals, such as in the photograph below:

A dropbear eats a small goat.

A dropbear attack survivor.

As a public service the Australian Government has created an awareness campaign for these creatures:

Remember!

LOOK UP, STAY ALIVE