the center of the universe is you
If your whole life revolves around your significant other, you have to rethink your priorities. If a guy/girl comes into your life and turns it around, what does that say about your life ? Does this mean it was empty and meaningless before she came into your life ? If your answer is yes, there might be something wrong with you.
I had a friend who asked his girlfriend to run away from home. He said he’ll take care of her and pay for her college tuition fees. All this when he was only 21 years old. Man, he couldn’t even keep a steady job for a month ! Fortunately the girl wasn’t stupid enough to believe him and she broke up with him a month later.
Or another one, where he used to say “I will love you forever”, and go broke buying stuff for his girlfriend. All with his parents money!
Or the one who said “My life is meaningless” after his girlfriend left him. Then he found another one and he said the same thing. Get a fucking clue!
Anyways my point is, if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of somebody else?
A girl ain’t gonna fix your problems and she sure ain’t gonna rely on you for security if you’re not independent (emotionally or financially). Somewhere along the line, a whole generation of guys have lost their balls and turned into so called “sensitive new age guys”. I have the right to call them that, because I used to be one.
It’s true, I used to be a needy, jealous, self-sympathizing, emotional black-hole of a person. Some of my ex-girlfriends can attest to that, and boy did I give them shit. I’m so sorry about that, and you girls would be so proud that I grew out of that teenage angst. I’m definitely in a happier place right now.
In fact, I’m more selfish these days. Apparently, girls like a little backbone in their men!
What I learned over the years is that, you have to fix your own problems first, think about your future, and focus on what makes you happy. The center of your life is you, not your religion, not your job, not your computer games, not your possessions and certainly not your significant other. Hard to accept, but it’s true. None of these things will fix you if you don’t’ want to fix yourself.
Which brings me to lesson number 2 of the manifesto:
2) the center of the universe is you
Everything else will flow from there.
inspiring post, man!
ps: i’m selfish too.
lol hear hear!
… actually, i think i’ll hold my tongue. these are guy issues.
i like how this is turning out to be like one of those self help books except its on a blog. Hello Dr. Phil-son!
Only money talks
You can’t live on love, family all your life. How long can they support you, some will even leave you if you are not stable.
I only believe in tangible materials and monetary. Nothing is more realistic than that.
wah, the most ‘practical’ center.
But you know what ? I know how it feels to have the starving feeling when you’re low on money because you didn’t work enough or whatever.
However, if you didn’t have a strong center, you wouldn’t have what it takes to make money right ?
I used to think like that. After that I kind of lost it, i mean there were some drives that seem fade away. Could it be i found a different drive? I’m not sure myself.
Also, isn’t it true that if they leave you when you’re unstable means that they only like you materialistically? In that case, if Dude A is a rich and successful person but one fine day he suffered from a terrible accident/incident making him paralyze or whatever illness that causes him to seize the ability of earning those tangible materials, does that mean his love one or family will leave him?
If that’s the case, no one can ever find anyone who actually bothered or cared no?
Honestly speaking, who wouldn’t want a smooth happy life? Let’s face the hard truth, no one will help you in this cruel world but yourself. I rather have something to fall back on.
Regardless if you are a dude or a chick, it’s better to have your safety net, you cannot trust anyone no matter how long you know the person.
I agree on the first sentence. But i doubt ‘no one’ will actually NOT help. I think it differs from other individuals as well.
Yes if the point is not rely on your partner/whoever to be your safety net, i agree completely. But not generally everyone to be claimed ‘not to be trusted.’ =)
Inspiring! The manifesto lives!
and the game still plays even when we thought it is over.
Sorry this post is 5 months late … hehe.
However, if you always have to work at a relationship, hmmmm , something might not be right there. Arghhh , next point in the manifesto …. push/pull.
will that be posted 5 months later again? i thought we figured there was more.. you still got the paper with you?
I lost the paper, but the knowledge is in my head hehe. I think we only got to point #3 right ?? hahah…
Eh? i thought we had 5 points we manage to figure out?
Btw bro, I’m still fit for vice-president!
hahaha
oh dear, I forgot the other 2 points .. @__@
ok , mr vice president ! so er , what do we do now ?? hmmmm
Hmmmmm….
i just smsed you one point. I didn’t make a copy of the paper.
And dude, you’re the president of this man. You lead us!
aye aye!
*bangs on table & nods head in agreement*
yet, somehow i wish the guy who went broke buying stuff for his sugarbun was my boyfriend!
*sighs*… oh just wishful thinking!
that’s just cruel!
… and then she has to buy him dinner when he’s broke. hehahha
centre of the universe.. hmm. there is no right or wrong, it can’t be dictated by someone else eg. you telling them it is NOT something else. some ppl are driven by different things in life. for some it is money, for some it is religion, for some it is family.. there’s nothing wrong with what is their ‘anchor’ in life. it only may become ‘hazardous’ to the person if these things that dictates their life affects their functioning (like losing all money, wanting to commit suicide), then we try to help that person find a balance, to cope with their difficulties but not letting them lose sight of what drives them. but i think we are not to tell them so-and-so SHOULD NOT be the center of your universe, cuz that’s being judgmental. every individual is different..what works for you may not work for others.
I’m being individualistic in this sense, that is why I believe that every person is responsible for their own happiness.
too much buddha books? =P but i agree with that actually =)
Here’s the exact quote from Buddha right before he died:
“everything that is born is subject to decay. Since there is no external saviour, it is up to you to work out your own liberation…. these are my last words.”
isn’t it the same as saying, “you’re on your own b!tch”?
I envy you for having realized these things before the age of thirty. Some guys never figure it out no matter how old they get.
I thought you were talking about yourself in the first paragraph, and at first the “he/she” reference made me think that you had dated a she-male or transgendered woman–not that doing so would mean that there might be something wrong with you, LOL.
life is full of “ideal” this and that; which rarely work for most people but we’re still stupidly believing in them no matter what. It takes a lot of courage to be against the ideal and more often than not you’ll be seen as a bad influence or whatever. I say that the ideal must die! Reality rules!
yea. reality should be the chosen path. especially in today’s society.
i think exlaimations such as “i love u forever” and “my life is meaningless” are exaggerated words spoken by a person who’s just caught up in that moment of drama. (and really, u cant blame them. everyone gets caught up ones in a while.)
if u ask me, those are really just unfinished lines. rather, it shud read -
“i love u forever… or at least that’s what i think i’d be feeling 50 years from now. dont hold my words to it. i’m just saying, right now, i could love u for ever.” (key word, ‘right now’, tomorrow is a diff story)
and
“my life is meaningless… cuz u left and all i’m left with is my boring work and friends who can’t give me the same type of attention a gf does. my routine and once comfortable life (which i’ve worked so hard to get to) is messed up and i’m so lazy to get off my ass to start a new one. and where am i gonna get sex now?!”
thats reality. sigh. today’s world is getting sadder. there goes my years of hope for a disney cartoon ending… :(:(
its gonna be alright, dude. How lucky is it to realize now than a few years later? like everyone else you meet on the street holding hands and swinging them around without a glance of what their near future might look like?
Goonna be alright.
well said by a true realist!
It makes absolute sense…..but it’s one thing knowing all that and another trying to put the words into actions
The centre of your life is suppose to be God. Not yourself
And you believe in god. So does many people. But if you don’t fend for yourself, god is not going to help you. God is not going to put food on the table for you. God is not going to give you shelter.
I assume you are working and you are working for money to buy your food and your rent/home. You are doing it for yourself and not for god.
You’re assuming I believe in god, which I don’t.
no one can tell anyone what should be at the centre of their lives!
aahh nice post…you have grown up young one…:)
I coudn’t agree less….Complete yourself and not expect others to complete you…It’s good to be realistic and independent and it does not mean that you are cold hearted.
Like one of my lecturers once told me, ‘Hey, you guys don’t live on sunshine and rain water only, you knowwww…’
whoops! i mean i couldn’t agree more :p…sorry
call me young ‘one’ some more ! hahah …
it’s true, doesn’t mean I’m selfish i have to be cold-hearted.
Realistic and independent. I guess everyone has to grow up sometime right ? yep.
I guess it’s individualistic
I have known you for some time and I personally know that you always try to make a change for yourself. On top of that, you have your own mind! Which is good, as I have told you, we need Chief and Indians to run this world. (No offense to the Indian race, but it’s terminology often used)
The Recovering Shopaholic used to buy crazy shit for her ex’s birthday – playstation 2s (when it first came out), thousand dollar TVs, the internet, etc. But when I started going out with her, she buys me… a book.
That’s why I’m marrying her.
Hahahahahahaha!
awww…
Hi Jason
Profound. Very profound. You’re on to something here.
You are smack on right JP!!
Guys, grow a backbone before you try to be a backbone for your gurls…
And gurls, stop believing in a fairy tale ending in relationships. Nothing works if no work gets put into it. Get real and sad to say reality bites!!
Two sides to the same coin. If you choose someone who promises what he can’t deliver, and is so high on his ideals and delusions of love that his feet aren’t touching the ground, obviously there is going to be some fallout when you burst his bubble. He needs a reality recalibration.
On the other hand, knowing that someone doesn’t mean a -single word- they say when they say ‘I love you’ isn’t exactly a great basis for a relationship either. Love isn’t supposed to make much practical sense. If one’s universe is constantly centered on selfish tendencies, your significant other may find it harder to trust you, especially if they know how you are going to act when put under pressure (i.e. choosing yourself over them). Part of the man’s job is taking flak for the woman, no?
But that’s probably just the idealist in me talking shit.
see what I said? “no matter what”.
Are you purposing not reading that I included both extremes? Re-read and correct yourself.
Actually, when a selfish person says “I love you”, it’s actually more meaningful than when a selfless person says it.
As for love not making practical sense, that could be disagreed to. Love does make practical sense for most people and no, a man’s job is not taking flak for the woman.
You’re a little old fashioned aren’t you ? lol.
By the way, my advice is meant for guys who don’t know how to take of themselves trying to take care of someone else. “I’m a little bit more selfish these days”. Not extremely, but good enough.
you are all grown up now!!
:D
oh no.. so it means when russ said he’d love me, take care of me and his wife forever and he’d die if anything bad happens to me, it’s all fake???
*runs away crying*
he won’t die if anything happens to you
but yeah , I believe he has the capacity to take care of you , so when he says it , it is much more meaningful. Don’t you think ?
i hope i can explain it better than jason but dammit.
It means more. thats it! nice one.
wow… you have grown so much from the last time we spoke to each other.