… kinda sucks. I think people who say “single life is great!” are only saying that to make themselves feel better. Sure, they say they love the freedom to do whatever they want, flirt with whoever and not commit. Probably fun for a while, but not for a year!

Yes! Its been a WHOLE year since I’ve been with anyone. There had been close encounters here and there, but it didn’t work out one way or another. Am I picky ? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with women ? (I think the answer is the last one).

About this time last year, I got my heart ripped to shreds by this ex of mine. Oh yeah, we’re good friends now but I don’t understand why she did what she did. I don’t want to know either, but that 7 year old story is over as far as I know. The other day, I tried bringing up old memories just to feel something, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even feel sad. Does that mean I can’t feel anything anymore? OH NO

Its not like I can complain to my best friend either. She’s even more cynical than me, although I suspect she’s actually really soft inside. Plus, she never approves of any girls I date/interested in, so something I keep it a secret. I don’t know, I don’t approve of hers either, perhaps we’re a bit too over-protective. You see, if she dates someone, that means less time to hang out with me and vice-versa so we’re not entirely unbiased I supposed.

Speaking of that, I’m kinda interested in someone right now. Too early to say, but I’m just trying to get to know her better. My radar is way off and I can’t tell if she’s interested. I don’t even know what to do anymore! I’m rusty!

The less I say about that, the better!

This is 1/3rd of the SD room

I’ve been meaning to blog about work for a while now. The reason I hesitated to do so was because I felt that it was too early to tell if things were going well. I’ve been working a month now and I’m glad to say that work is great!

I develop web applications to support the Enterprise Service Desk (more like a call center) division of CSC (Computer Sciences Corporation). They have about 400 people employed so if you can imagine a huge cubicle farm housing 200 people (during the day and another 200 at night), that’s kinda where I work. They provide support for companies such as Maybank, Rio Tinto, Estee Lauder and BHP.

It took me a while to get used to things. I don’t fit in any hierarchy or any team except I report to the big fish of the SD division himself. Imagine the organization chart, where he has 11 managers under him, team leaders under those 11 and the rest of the 400 people in seperate teams. Now draw a box with my name on it, and draw a line to the boss. (I also sit outside of the SD department).

I’ve never worked in a big company before, so this was a huge difference for me. I think I’m a good position because I don’t have to deal with office politics (since I’m out of the hierarchy) and I can  just concentrate on my work. I report straight to the center manager and the other people are glad to help me if I need something, so it works out for me.

Well, I just completed a project and the boss is glad with my work. He also told me that there are several projects lined up for me and other managers have noticed me as well. Usually I wouldn’t like to hear this, as this would mean more work and probably some overtime. Fortunately, my boss respects my deadlines, never micro-manages, doesn’t expect me to work overtime and doesn’t check on me until the deadlines arrives.

As compared to my previous job, this job is more flexible, better hours (9 to 5ish), better pay and a better environment as well. So in a nutshell, work’s great so far!

Its been a while since I’ve updated my about page. Instead of writing one myself, I’m including a little piece wrote by my best friend Farah on my birthday:

“… Jason has a big heart and is a generous guy, he is easy going, fun to be with and best of all, he doesn’t judge. I’m not sure if he doesn’t judge, of he’s just incapable of judging. But either way, it works well for him and others. I’m sure all of you can agree nobody doesn’t like Jason! He’s Mr Nice Guy! In fact, I’d call him Mr WAY TOO nice guy. He’s the best person to talk cock with, talk shit and at the same time, talk about intellectual stuff and life. I admire his openness to learning and willingnes to stretch himself to grow. In other words, he takes life by the horns and embraces its teachings. For a 26 year old, he is a masters graduate and working in a manegerial position already. He is living up to his age in terms of maturity …. but not the girlfriend and settling down part. So in THAT sense, you’re a 26 year old slacker!

To me, Jason is the bestes friend that I could ever ask for. We have been with each other through good times and bad, laughter and tears. He has never judged me which is something I highly value. I can talk to him about anything and everything and that’s what makes our friendship so special – the fact that we can totally be ourselves with each other and still have each others support and respect. We also keep ourselves in check and give each other feedback that helps us grow. There are not many friends who can have that with each other without maintaining the same level of comfort, but Jason and I haev that that’s what makes our friendship special

Jason, I value your opinions, your company, your kindness, your XBOX … I could go on, but I would like to preserve some of the nice things for future birthday speeches. If everyday I were to write 5 things I’m grateful for, you’d be on that list every day. Thank you for being my best friend, my bro, thank you for existing, thank for you being in my life.

Lets raise your glasses to Jason, to friendship and to many more birthdays, cheers to an awesome guy all around .. “

It’s been slightly more than a month since I quit my previous job. It seems inertia slowly creeps up on you and before you know it, you’re playing video games in your underwear and waking up at noon. Friends are usually busy with work or study so I spend a lot of time alone, be it at the gym, walk in the park or home alone.

I look forward to the weekend when I spend time with my friends (usually in the form of Friday Night Guitar Hero or Street Fighter Sunday). Then its Monday where people go back to their normal lives, while its holiday limbo for me. Everyday.

Seems that I was like this 2 years ago (replace Street Fighter with Dota). Heck, I was even like this last year in Brisbane!

Everyday seems mundane and I can’t bring myself to try out new things. You’d think that the more time you have on your hands, you can do the things you always wanted to do right? Wrong, you just sit at home and do nothing everyday.

Enough was enough. So last week, I took my resume and went for an interview. Incidentally, a recruitment agency also called me. I went for 2 interviews, thought about it and chose one of the jobs. Tomorrow, I’ll be collecting my job offer at CSC as a Web Application Developer.

Time to snap out of this inertia!

I’m in between comic ideas, so no comic today. There seems to be a lack of inspiration lately because …

I’m in between girlfriends. Yes, its a dry spell, and I’m horny and burnt out. It could be because I’m so emotionally scarred from my previous relationship that I’m afraid of women (yeah right).

I’m also in between jobs, which is a nice way of saying that I’m unemployed. Yes, I quit my previous job (for reasons which I will not state here) and I’m not sure of my next career move. I think I’m done with web development and small companies for now, and I will definitely be much more picky on my next job.

These days, I’m neither happy nor sad. Either way, I could count my blessings or every misfortune of mine. Its only a state of mind right?

In between the weight of yesterday, and the uncertainty of tomorrow.

I’m just here.

Let me tell you about my day.

I came to the office and it stinked of crap. My boss gave me a look and then looked towards the aquarium. The water was murky and I could see some stuff floating. Shit, I forgot to turn on the water filter yesterday! You see, I wanted to feed the fishes, but the food was pushed around the water by the flow from the filter, so I turned off the filter temporarily. Okay, so it wasn’t so temporary.

One of the fishes was swimming sideways and one terrapin was floating in the water. It wasn’t long before the little fish stopped swimming. Due to my carelessness, I’ve killed them both.

I thought it was a little too much trouble, having project deadlines and all. So it put them in a little box and threw them in the dustbin. That left me with a bad feeling for about an hour or so, but I soon got over it. You see, you kinda get used to these things when you’ve had 3 terrapins die already. The first one that died, I contemplated a burial, the second one we suggested a cremation. In the end, we just couldn’t be arsed, so the dustbins it. For the third one that died, we even joked about playing golf with it, much to the dismay of others in the office.

But anyways, I spent the next half an hour changing the water in the aquarium. After that, my day was a blur of endless emergencies that I had to deal with as a project manager. My basic job description is that I take all this crap from the clients (or the boss), and then funnel (delegate) them to the programmer or designer. That’s the basic idea anyways, but it is much more chaotic than that. I’m also a programmer, which makes my life doubly hard, but hey, its always chaotic in a startup company right ?

Later on in the day, things slowed down a little. I thought I could relax a little, but then a new emergency came up. One of our clients old websites was hacked by some porn script. I’ve seen this kinda hack before, as my blog was once a victim to this crap. Fortunately, the content of the website was left intact, and not filled with porn and all. Then the doorbell rang:

Oh look! An interview. This time its for my friend, who might be our potential copywriter. Anyways, this wasn’t an interview per se, because I didn’t talk much. I don’t know, conflict of interest, I suppose? I let my boss do the talking for this interview, and it went pretty well. Would be cool to get her in, then I don’t have to chase my boss for content all the time.

Anyways, back to the hacked website thingie. I just restored the backup and the website was fixed! Jason saves the day!

Went for a swim in the gym to keep fit and sane, but then they told me I haven’t paid this month. Stupid auto-pay wasn’t working, and then I tried to swipe my card but it doesn’t work as well. Stupid Maybank debit card. URGH.

Went home, cooked some instant noodles for dinner, and then my brother thrashed me in Street Fighter IV. Also trying to catch up on my backlog of Time magazines (they’re arriving faster than I can read them)

My life is great.

So I was waiting in line to pay the parking ticket at Tropicana Mall and I had a sudden urge to scratch my tattoo. It gets itchy sometimes, but this one feels like spider sense tingling. A chick walked past and at the corner of my eye I can see that she’s looking at me. I glanced at her, but she quickly looked down on the floor.

Oh great, this is the ex I haven’t seen for 8 years.

But before I continue, I must say that this was after watching Harry Potter and The Perils of Teenage Romance. Its not that I don’t like the movie, it’s pretty decent. I just felt exactly like Dumbledore when he said “Ah, to be young again …”. I won’t spoil it for you, but you’ll understand when you see it.

I actually asked myself, “when was the last time I was in love?” Well, I’ve been single for a year, I was certainly not in love with the girl before that, and I don’t know if I can count the long-distance one. Rewind a little more and it gets even murkier. So that leaves Little Miss S, who after 7 years still manages to break my heart. Not that there’s much of it anymore anyways.

My best bud, Farah is on the same boat. Too traumatized by a previous relationship, she gets icky when she sees couples being happy. I poke fun at her, because I’m not that jaded. Still, I don’t see myself being in love again anytime in the near future. Its almost like I’m incapable of putting myself out there anymore. Too lazy, too picky, too many excuses not to get into it.

All in due time right? WRONG.

Today is the first time my family (including aunts) asked me “So, Jason. If you have your wedding on the 9/9/2009, that would be a good date right ? Or how about 10/10/2010? After all, you’re 26 already! I thought only girls get these kinda questions! Mum, I’m too happy being single at the moment! Who needs a girlfriend when I can hang out with my buddies whenever, work nights, and have good friends such as the ones I have ! (that’s for another post).

So, back to the story.

She didn’t know I recognized her so it was up to me to say hi. I was a little tired and she was there with her boyfriend, so I didn’t feel like being chirpy Jason Phoon. She was queing somewhere behind me, and she looked a little taller than me (funny, Farah today asked me if I was okay with dating someone taller than me. damn those heels). I also remember that the last time I saw her was when she slammed my car door (I liked some other girl). I guess you can say that we didn’t really end on good terms.

I always wondered why I never bumped into her all these years. KL is not that big right? Now I know its because when she sees me, she tries to hide away or something. Not all of them say hi, and not all of them you get along with eh ?

Its not like you can go, “heyyyyy, how you doing ? loooking greattt”

I’ll keep this in mind the next time my tattoo itches:

“Look around for an ex”