I watched Eragon yesterday. I can’t help but thinking that I would have enjoyed it much better if I was a few years younger. And a few IQ points lower too.

Eragon is a story about a boy named Eragon, who is the last hope to overthrow an evil empire. The last hope because he has a dragon. Because he is the “chosen one” . And also because he’s a farmboy.

Eragon, the reluctant farmboy hero

Hey , Luke Skywalker and Frodo were farmboys, and they lived with uncle Owen and uncle Bilbo respectively ! So of course Eragon has a good chance of saving the world, right ?

Lets point out the obvious Scifi/fantasy cliches that Eragon has :

• reluctant farmboy hero that stays with his uncle
• empire = bad , rebels = good
• princess in distress
• mentor that dies
• despite never having training, hero is able to use magic that everyone else takes years to learn

For fucks sake, retire these cliches` already !

Put in one more sun , and I swear this scene is Star Wars: A New Hope

Then there were the WTF scenes.

WTF scene 1:

1. It was daytime , Eragon is speaking to the dragon.
2. Abruptly, the next scene , Eragon is walking for no reason in the forest and stumbles into a cave. At night !
3. In the cave , there is a book about dragons and Mr Jeremy Irons is there.
4. WTF

WTF scene 2:

1. Nightime, the enemies kill Eragon’s uncle while he watches
2. He runs away from the farm and dragon picks him up to save him
3. Dragon flies very far away. I repeat, very far away !
4. Eragon argues with the dragon and says “Let me go !”
5. The dragon lets him go and Eragon falls into a haystack. Right outside his farm ! Daytime !
6. Eragon runs into the farm and finds his uncle dead.
7. Eragon blames dragon for not letting him save his uncle
8. WTF

Are teenagers ( the film’s target audience ) really that stupid to not notice these discrepancies ? Or am I too old to understand the beauty of WTF scenes ?

The book that this movie is based on was written by a 15 year old , and it shows. But that doesn’t mean the movie has to feel like it was made by 15 year olds right ? Or was it ?

Oh , and guess what ? The movie also felt like it was a really expensive trailer for parts 2 and 3. Yes , another trilogy !

However, the movie wasn’t entirely unenjoyable to me. I kinda liked the dragon flying part. And the princess is pretty damned hot too. Plus, did I mention that dragons are cool ?

Ahh , princess Arya

I wish I had a dragon